Food For Thought: The Love You Deserve

You can’t change people. It took me 24 years – and 3 failed attempts at relationships – to figure that out. I’ve always thought that if i love someone hard enough he’d somehow become this person that I thought he could be. Or that if i stick around for someone long enough he’d realize and reciprocate that feeling. 

Remember in the 4th grade how there was this one guy in your class who kept on teasing you and basically was being a complete asshole to you? And you somehow dealt with it, instead of just calling him out on his bullshit, because someone probably told you “oh he’s just like that because he likes you”. Flash forward to my life in my 20s, trying to deal with the ghosts, the assholes, and the straight-up psychopaths, in hopes that one fine day where the sun is shining and the birds are chirping, they’d love me back. I don’t know where i got this notion in my head that the person that i cared about may break my heart a few times, but hey, the next time won’t be as bad as the last, because he’s slowly changing to be the man that (deep down) i know i deserve. 

No one in their right minds would ever, and should ever, do something like that to someone they love. Life isn’t supposed to be harder to deal with when you’re with someone you love, and the person that you love shouldn’t make life harder for you. I’m not saying that all relationships are going to always be ups instead of downs. But you’re supposed to overcome the downs together as a unit, instead of fighting it alone. 

Some people may break apart before realizing that they’re better together. Some relationships have to fall apart before eventually falling back together. But some people may not, and some relationships just don’t work out. If someone is constantly breaking your heart, or that being in the relationship means that you’re constantly feeling confused and unhappy, instead of happiness and having clarity, then it’s probably not going to change. 

The love you deserve is with someone that you don’t have to change. It should be someone who teases and pushes you to be the better person of yourself, someone who challenges you to do better. Someone who will fight for and with you instead of against you.

“Tarot reading is an attempt to understand ourselves better and discover how we might live better in the future”
Tunggu apa lagi? Yuk Narot!
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